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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28909533">let go, we can free ourselves of all we've learned</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/milfscully/pseuds/milfscully'>milfscully</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Breastfeeding, F/F, listen i can explain I CAN EXPLAIN, this is niche and nasty and that's how i like it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:21:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28909533</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/milfscully/pseuds/milfscully</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zelda never imagined that she would ever see Lilith as a mother. More importantly, she never thought that seeing her as one would elicit such strong feelings.</p>
<p>Heed the tags, babes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zelda Spellman &amp; Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith, Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>let go, we can free ourselves of all we've learned</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>dedicating this to my two partners in tinhatting, i would be nothing without u</p>
<p>takes place after the birth in part 4 and just acts like literally nothing else happened because in my mind that's canon</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Most nights, Zelda sleeps fitfully, tossing and turning and waiting for the next crisis to land on her doorstep.</p>
<p>Others, she wanders the Academy halls, and finds herself visiting the Queen of Hell and her bouncing bundle of joy. In those instances, she’s welcomed into the woman’s chambers with a questioning look, but nothing more, and permitted to stay as long as she liked.</p>
<p>Both women seem to need the company.</p>
<p>One such night, she sits on the edge of Lilith’s bed, sitting in comfortable silence next to the woman, both watching the embers in the fire crackle and burn. After a few moments, Lilith abruptly speaks.</p>
<p>“Why do you think I came to you to have my baby?”</p>
<p>Zelda startles, not expecting the sudden inquiry. They don’t usually talk during these midnight visits, Lilith too exhausted from the daily exertion of being a new mother and Zelda worn down by the constant expectations put on her by herself and others, so the question comes as a genuine surprise. She decides to forego any games and simply tell the truth. “Because I’m the best midwife the witching world has ever seen.”</p>
<p>Lilith laughs. “Keep it up – confidence is sexy,” she says, giving Zelda an exaggerated once over, only too thrilled to have someone of the adult variety to tease.</p>
<p>Zelda blinks, unsure if her forwardness is masking something genuine, or simply a way to further get under her skin.</p>
<p>“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”</p>
<p>She shakes herself out of whatever trance Lilith had her in. “Enough. Then why did you come here?” she asks, arms folded across her chest.</p>
<p>“Because you and I are more alike than you want to admit, Zelda Spellman,” Lilith replies, looking up at her through feathered lashes. “Cut from the same cloth, if you will.”</p>
<p>“I am nothing like you,” Zelda retorts, scoffing. Though she can respect a fellow witch and woman who also craves power and status, she can’t imagine they share any other qualities.</p>
<p>“Oh? You mean, you haven’t been used and abused by men you thought you could trust?,” Lilith begins, ignoring Zelda’s visible flinch. “Or tossed aside by the men you thought you could take to the top and finally receive all of the <em>power </em>and agency you crave? Tell, me, Zelda, that you haven’t also endured more pain and suffering than you could ever recover from at the hands of mediocre men who shouldn’t even have been allowed breathe your air let alone <em>touch</em> you.”</p>
<p>Zelda finds herself at a loss for words – mainly because she wasn’t aware the Queen of Hell was privy to that much information about her. She wants to feel violated – wants to feel exposed, or betrayed. But all she manages is a pulling in her chest that tells her maybe, just maybe, there’s finally someone in front of her who can <em>understand. </em>Before she can retaliate, there’s a slight ruffling from the bassinet.</p>
<p>At the sound of the baby’s soft whimpers, Lilith also pauses.</p>
<p>“Hold that thought,” she says, sliding off of the bed and away from Zelda. She approaches the baby’s bassinet cooing and shushing, making noises Zelda can’t and wouldn’t want to discern, as she gently picks him up and presses him against her chest.</p>
<p>Watching mother and son makes Zelda painfully aware of an ache in her chest, the opening of an old wound.</p>
<p>But there’s something else there — something spurred from the softness in Lilith’s eyes as she looks into the baby’s, the tenderness with which she pats at his swaddled bottom to calm him down. It’s a feeling she’s only recently rediscovered, and a feeling that caused warmth to pool in her belly.</p>
<p>It’s intoxicating, she thinks, being in such close proximity with the Queen of Hell with this side of her on display. She’d left the task of checking in on her and the baby mostly to Hilda, only popping in occasionally in the dead of night to join Lilith as she watched baby Adam sleep. In those instances, few words were shared, but there was an understanding — an understanding that mothers are never truly able to rest while their children are under foot.</p>
<p>Now, she observes Lilith quiet the baby in the way only new mothers do, with a budding confidence and sureness that only grows surer every time. Zelda is impressed at how quickly the baby falls back asleep. She flinches inwardly when she realizes she’s impressed with <em>Lilith </em>herself.</p>
<p>For a woman who has never had a child in the traditional, mortal sense, Lilith seems to have adapted to motherhood quite well. Certainly, Zelda’s heard of the nights Lilith has spent struggling to get the baby to stop crying. From Hilda, she knows that Lilith has faced more than a handful of frustrating days wherein she’s been unable to figure out the baby’s need. But those hurdles become insignificant as Zelda follows Lilith’s index finger as she traces it across the baby’s cheek, watches her settle the baby back into his bassinet.</p>
<p>“It’s impolite to stare, you know,” Lilith quips. Her head is down, hair cascading in front of her face as she ensures the baby is truly settled, so her expression is a mystery to Zelda. There’s something about her tone, though, that alludes to the woman’s interest being piqued.</p>
<p>But why, Zelda couldn’t say.</p>
<p>“My apologies,” Zelda says. Her gaze follows Lilith’s form as she tiptoes back to her spot on the bed. Zelda suddenly feels brave. “It’s hard not to find myself drawn to the beauty of the moment.”</p>
<p>Lilith cocks her head, a devilish little smile on her red lips. “You think I’m beautiful?”</p>
<p>Zelda rolls her eyes. “I find the intricacies of motherhood beautiful. The primal relationship between mother and child.”</p>
<p>Lilith hums and directs her attention to the floor. Zelda gets the impression she’s said the wrong thing, though she’s not sure why or how, since she meant the statement as a compliment. She wonders, suddenly, if, despite her bravado, Lilith is more unsure of herself than she lets on.</p>
<p>“When Sabrina was a baby,” she starts, after a few moments of charged silence, “I would spend many a night lying awake, just..<em>waiting. </em>Waiting for something to go wrong, waiting for her to need me. And despite the fact that I thought I was entirely prepared, the responsibility can be...overwhelming.” She hazards a glance at Lilith, only to see the other woman staring into her eyes. She maintains the eye contact. “I want you to know that you’re doing a good job.”</p>
<p>Lilith seems to visibly deflate as a weight lifts off her chest that Zelda didn’t realize was there. For her remark, she’s gifted with a dazzling smile, one that makes the Queen of Hell simply look like the proud mother she is.</p>
<p>“You think so?” she asks, so soft and tentatively that Zelda feels a rush of compassion for the woman flood her chest. Her big, blue eyes begin to water, and a single tear slips out the corner of one. Instinctively, and without much thought, Zelda reaches out, wiping it away with her thumb. Lilith freezes.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Zelda rushes out, attempting to quickly pull her hand back as if she’d just taunted a wild animal. Before she can, Lilith grabs her wrist.</p>
<p>“No, I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m not used to being so...volatile. I’m told the hormones are to blame.” Her smile still hasn’t faded away, and Zelda feels a certain pride at knowing she was the one who put it there. Lost in her self-indulgence, she doesn’t realize that Lilith has brought her wrist to her mouth until it’s too late for her to do anything about it. She places a kiss on the sensitive skin there, holding Zelda’s focused stare, and the witch shivers.</p>
<p>“In the spirit of sharing,” Lilith starts, releasing Zelda’s hand just as quickly as she grabbed it, “I do wish for you to know that I...I hope I can be even half the mother you are.”</p>
<p>Zelda’s breath hitches. She can hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears, and she doesn’t know why she feels a stinging behind her eyes. For some reason, of all the things she’s ever been told, hearing that the First Woman, the First <em>Witch</em>, would look to her as an example would be enough to bring her to her knees if she wasn’t already sitting.</p>
<p>There is a palpable shift between the two women. Having vocalized so many of the thoughts they usually keep hidden has uncovered something else, something that has always lingered and grown between them. The air feels electric, the room suddenly a hundred degrees warmer. Zelda’s mouth parts as she lets out staccato breaths.</p>
<p>Lilith slowly leans forward, bringing her hand to Zelda’s cheek. The closer she gets, the harder Zelda finds it to breathe. When she’s millimeters from sliding her lips over Zelda’s, she stops, waiting for permission. Zelda gives it wholeheartedly, darting forward and crashing  their lips together.</p>
<p>Lilith eagerly matches Zelda’s ferocity, cupping her face with both hands as Zelda’s find refuge on the brunette’s hips, holding her in place. They kiss like this, exploring and tasting each other’s mouths, before Lilith makes the first move to, quite literally, disrobe Zelda.</p>
<p>She uses both hands to slip under Zelda’s silk kimono and slide the garment off her shoulders. The fabric pools on the floor, and Zelda quickly bunches up the long material of her nightgown up, up her thighs, halting her movements when it reaches her hips. Lilith, steadily growing impatient, yanks the nightgown upwards, nearly ripping it from Zelda’s body as it passes over her arms.</p>
<p>And then, Zelda is completely bare before her.</p>
<p>She makes a small noise of approval at realizing that Zelda was never wearing underwear as she dives back in, kissing over the witch’s sternum and collar bones while her hands grab and knead at the soft skin of her thighs. Zelda throws her head back, thoroughly enjoying the attention, until she decides to satiate her own hunger.</p>
<p>She tenderly takes Lilith’s head in her hands, pulling her away from her journey kissing down Zelda’s chest. She looks terrified for a moment, fearful that Zelda might have changed her mind, only to breathe a sigh of relief into Zelda’s mouth as she surges forward tongue first.</p>
<p>As Zelda kisses her, she maneuvers them so that she’s straddling Lilith’s lap. Lilith’s hands rest on her hips, as Zelda purposefully places her hands on the other woman’s shoulders. Firmly, yet softly enough to allow Lilith to refuse, Zelda pushes her down. To her satisfaction, Lilith goes willingly, and Zelda finds herself straddling the woman as she wiggles beneath her.</p>
<p>The problem, however, is that Lilith is still clothed.</p>
<p>Zelda slides backwards off Lilith, dragging her sex down the woman’s body, and even though her dress is still on, Lilith can still feel the heat of her arousal traveling across her. The sensation forces a low moan from her chest.</p>
<p>“Shush, or you’ll wake the baby,” Zelda reminds her, standing over the brunette and appraising her form. Even clothed, she’s breathtaking; the dress hugs her body perfectly and allows Zelda a delicious view of her breasts.</p>
<p> Zelda slides her hands up Lilith’s body, partly in seduction, partly searching for something. She finds it when she reaches the bottom of the deep V neckline – a hidden zipper. Feeling inspired, she takes hold of it with her teeth, pulling it down the bodice of the dress. Lilith watches her with hooded eyes. Once the bodice is undone, Lilith rises up on her elbows, allowing Zelda to pull the clothing off her shoulders, then down her body, letting it fall ungracefully to the ground.</p>
<p>Now, it’s her turn to savor the appearance of Lilith’s naked body – her abdomen already returned to its initial tautness, the muscles rippling under her skin. Zelda crawls onto her much like a leopard stalking its prey. She peppers kisses on her calves, on her knees, her thighs, all the way up to the sensitive skin right above her pubic bone. She can smell the heady scent of Lilith’s arousal, and dips her head to swipe her tongue between her folds. The quick taste causes Lilith’s hips to jerk, but just as Zelda makes to return for more, she’s stopped with a hand in her hair.</p>
<p>The tugging sensation is a welcome one, and she gladly lets Lilith pull her up to her mouth, placing wet kisses on any skin she can reach in the meantime. Once face to face, the kissing resumes, with Lilith sucking on Zelda’s bottom lip. She nips at the pillowy skin and Zelda lets out an uncharacteristically high whimper.</p>
<p>“Now, now,” Lilith says, breathless, pulling away, “remember: we mustn’t wake the baby.”</p>
<p>Zelda chuckles once she sees the mirth behind Lilith’s eyes, but her movements become more calculated, more pointed. She kisses down the column of Lilith’s throat and, as she does, Lilith tangles their fingers together, bringing them down between her legs. Zelda catches on quickly, apprehensively sliding one finger, then two, inside of her while Lilith applies pressure around her clit. Zelda brings a hand to Lilith’s breast, tenderly massaging and giving the slightest occasional tweaks to her nipple. Lilith arches into her touch, feeling like her body could explode at any moment.</p>
<p>“More,” she says, using her other hand to press down on Zelda’s on her breast. “Harder. I won’t break.”</p>
<p>Zelda lifts her head from its position at the underside of Lilith’s jaw. “You’re barely four months postpartum. Any harder and you’ll open up like a faucet.”</p>
<p>She pauses, considering her statement. There’s little she hasn’t done in all her years of carnality, but a few...<em>specific </em>things remain on that list. The thought arises and before she can swat it away and admonish herself for her foolishness, she makes the mistake of looking at Lilith.</p>
<p>And finds the same desire mirrored in her eyes.</p>
<p>In one quick movement, Lilith turns them on their sides. Though their movements cease, her fingers remain around her sensitive nerves, as Zelda’s remain buried inside of her, and with her free hand, she tentatively cups the back of Zelda’s head, bringing it down to her chest. Zelda’s tongue darts out, tracing around the other woman’s nipple. She takes it wholly in her mouth, sucking a handful of times, before releasing it once more. Her next movement has her adjusting the angle, nuzzling the velvety skin with her nose as she suctions her lip to the same spot as before. Once again, she sucks a handful of times, only to release Lilith’s nipple again.</p>
<p>“I would rather not play games, Zelda,” Lilith growls, her hand resuming its movements in the slickness of her arousal.</p>
<p>“Relax, darling,” Zelda breathes, blowing a stream of air against her areola that elicits a patch of goosebumps across Lilith’s chest. “The importance of finding the right <em>latch </em>cannot be overstated.”</p>
<p>Her sentence is barely finished before she’s lowering her lips back down and situating her mouth around the perfectly erect nipple. She gently bites the base, and before she knows it, a steady stream of milk is pouring into her mouth. Zelda nestles further against Lilith’s chest, her face flush to the tissue of her breast, save for her nose, and she sucks rhythmically.</p>
<p>Lilith’s eyes close, the relief from her milk coming down coupled with Zelda’s fingers curled inside of her proving to be a euphoric combination. Zelda, too, feels the heat in her belly coil and grow as she suckles. Lilith’s repeated mumblings of <em>good girl</em> and <em>that’s it, just for mommy</em> only add to the eroticism fueling Zelda’s desire.</p>
<p>As her and Lilith’s hands work in tandem between them, and Zelda guzzles the liquid at her breast as if she were drinking from the Fountain of Youth, she feels Lilith’s hips jerk, and her thighs squeeze around Zelda’s wrist. She feels Lilith’s walls contract and a gush of warm liquid flood around her fingers, confirming that the woman achieved her release.</p>
<p>Lilith softens beneath her, her body going limp and pliant. Zelda slides her fingers out of Lilith, unlatching from her breast as she does so. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, but just as she’s about to taste Lilith for herself, the brunette settles a hand at her hip, keeping her rooted to the spot. Leaving no room for interpretation, she brings her hand directly between Zelda’s legs, intent on returning the favor. Zelda’s just as wet as she was, having gotten just as much out of drinking from the woman’s breast as she seemed to. With a few well-timed and well-positioned pumps from Lilith, Zelda is crumbling in ecstasy, burying her face in Lilith’s neck as her climax rips through her.</p>
<p>As they both come down, they stay tangled together, which is not something Zelda could have foreseen. She finds a comfort in Lilith’s arms she hasn’t known in quite some time, and she wonders what this could mean for the future. Lilith snuggles closer, burrowing her head beneath Zelda’s chin, almost sensing her thoughts.</p>
<p>“Stop thinking,” she says without opening her eyes. Zelda huffs.</p>
<p>“I don’t think I’ve ever been able to do that.”</p>
<p>Just then, the baby whimpers, louder than he had earlier, and Lilith extracts herself from Zelda. She walks over to the bassinet, again, unabashedly naked. Zelda can’t help but stare at her, transfixed by the slope of her shoulders, the dip of her lower back.</p>
<p>Lilith rocks the baby, her back to Zelda, before slowing, appearing to consider something. She turns, bouncing her son in her arms, and pads back over to the bed. Zelda’s heart skips a beat as she situates the baby in the middle of the bed, ensuring he can move freely but is supported in all the tender spots. Zelda stares at his big eyes, so like his mother’s.</p>
<p>“He’s so beautiful,” she whispers. The baby gurgles, drool pooling at the corners of his mouth, and he reaches out a tiny hand toward Zelda. She refrains from moving, not wanting to cross some unspoken boundary.</p>
<p>“Go ahead,” Lilith urges, “you helped deliver him, after all.”</p>
<p>Zelda beams as she meets the baby’s small outstretched hand. He grabs onto her finger, making a fist, and Lilith watches in adoration, propped up on her hand. Zelda hums a tune unfamiliar to Lilith, and the baby’s eyes slowly drift shut, his hand falling limp, allowing Zelda to slip out of his tight baby grip. She pats his warm belly, watching his chest rise up and down as he drifts back to sleep. Once he starts snoring, the little snuffles that make Zelda’s heart shatter, she looks up at Lilith, who is still watching the boy. The look on her face, one of pure, unfiltered love, sends a tingle down her spine.</p>
<p>“Can I kiss you?” she blurts out. Lilith looks at her, initially shocked, though quickly recovers. She looks, to Zelda, as if she’s never wanted anything more.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she says, and leans in. They meet in the middle, right above baby Adam’s sleeping form, and though the kiss is chaste, it says more than either one of them are ready to say out loud.</p>
<p>“Hilda mentioned your short-sighted plan to stay in this room until he turns sixteen,” Zelda says, clearly amused. Lilith blushes, though doesn’t disagree or argue. “You can, you know. If that’s something you’d really want to do. We will keep you safe.” She looks down at the baby and <em>boops</em> his button nose. “We’ll keep you <em>both </em>safe.”</p>
<p>Lilith doesn’t know if that’s possible, or if they’ll be able to keep them both safe as well as the coven themselves, but with Zelda in her bed, and her son sleeping between them, she might start to believe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>OKAY LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN AND I WILL when i first got here i read the Original Madam Spellman Breastfeeding Fic (which you should absolutely read, fyi, if you haven't, just my onion) and it truly changed me i will not lie to you</p>
<p>so this is essentially me paying homage to that since if there's anything part 4 gave us, it's the chance to write a canon milf!lilith however we want, and i think we should be allowed to do that</p>
<p>if you're the author of that fic and you're out there.......i love you, stay hydrated, and thank you for your service</p>
<p>anyway! that's all for now folks</p></blockquote></div></div>
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